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My hands are sweating, my heart starts to pound and I have a queasy feeling in my stomach - it's that time again. The second therapy session in the subject Lingerie and compression lies in front of me. The challenge this time: Get out of the protective bed. Because even in life outside of the sensitive minute, when you only stand there in underwear and compression, there are pitfalls that I want to overcome. Hello spaghetti wearers, you revealing fellows.
Lingerie and compression - Caro goes wild
At least that's what Michaela, our wonderful photographer, says when she held the finished pictures in her hand. She who encourages me again and again to jump over my shadow, without whom this blog, these pictures and this body awareness would not exist. She likes the wild pictures best and yes, she is right. While we were taking the pictures, she asked me to open my hair, ran it through several times and * snap * my switch was thrown. From insecure Caroline, with a slight braid, with a romantic touch and somehow closed and not ready, I suddenly became a sensual vamp. That is impossible. Mitcha, how do you do it.
Sometimes you only become aware of certain things when you see them from a different perspective. After a major decrease or major operation, for example, many have a professional photograph to get a new feel for their body. And I feel no different at all. Because when I looked through the pictures, I surprised myself.
How can my own body feeling so deceive me? The woman in the picture is so sensual, but it can't be me.
Why not? Should this sensuality in the picture just be a role that I slipped into or did Michaela just dug it out of my innermost being? Quasi solved the knot?
What am I actually afraid of?
I am actually very aware of my fear, or rather my complex. On the one hand, I find my breasts uncomfortable, unattractive, they have nothing more sensual for me. He saw 35 kilos come and go and has not forgiven me to this day. On the other hand, my compression has always accompanied me wonderfully fashionably through the day, but put a completely crazy shame on top of the bosom complex in front of my partner. I told you why this is nonsense first article in the series tells.
I slowly deciphered the fantasy that my partner does not find me attractive with compression and consciously let go of it more and more. It takes time, but every progress counts. But what do I do with these two sad companions who are here and can only be corrected operationally? What exactly am I afraid of? What could people think? Well, what are you supposed to think? Exactly, nothing. Except maybe, "Oh, yeah, ... is now just like a one. Oh look, there's ice cream. ”People will be pretty pissed off about my bosom, because they have completely different things on their minds at the lake or in the swimming pool. What am I bothering about? I'm not usually like that with my rolls or the dents on my legs.
My defiance tells me, “Find a way. Make peace with him. If your partner can see the beauty, so can you. "
So I'm not giving up hope. I've got so many wrong views of my body out of my head. Starting with my height up to my nose. Yes, there are endless ways to question your looks, and I've beaten almost all of them. So why fail now because of this tough nut for me and throw the gun in the grain? I am worth it and will not stop relearning my body awareness until I can finally radiate satisfaction without restrictions.
Radiance is the best accessory
It doesn't matter how we look, what size our legs are, how big we are or how conspicuous our nose is - as long as we believe in ourselves, we carry all inner beauty outwards and let any self-perceived "flaws" fade. We don't have to love everything about ourselves, but accepting it is a meaningful start. How do you do that? I don't really know that yet. Well, the pictures help me to take a step back and look at myself from the outside. Not in the mirror, not looking down at me. And yes, that makes a huge difference.
Maybe today I got a little closer to my bosom than I ever was. We'll probably never really become friends, but at least no longer being enemies would be enough for me. What did he do to me besides sticking with me?
Dear bosom, I don't like you, but you are strong. Thanks for persevering.
This article was supported by medi.
Pictures: Michaela Kern
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