Imagine coming out of the shower in the morning, looking in the mirror and thinking:
Who is this,
does it sound familiar to me?
Now you become very aware that something has changed, I've changed. My reflection and myself do not go together.
A process is running very slowly that I cannot stop. I'm getting older, at least visually. It wasn't that long ago when I was still very slim, had no wrinkles and long hair.
Well, strong legs, I had them, but that's how it was. My father always said to me that I had football legs, and my mother's were not slim either. After the birth of my first daughter, I took part in a Miss Leg competition in America and was persuaded. What can I say: I got first place. So no footballer legs after all.
It was all a long time ago and I'm still looking in the mirror. Now my passport says that I am 60 years old. Is that old now? I see wrinkles, very small ones under the eyes, and some have made themselves comfortable around my mouth. I see hair, thin hair, good the color is not a problem, I have a good hairdresser and she has a good color palette. On closer inspection, I notice that I am becoming more and more like my mother.
I keep looking in the mirror, very precisely, you can't miss it, a stomach, my stomach. What happened? I do sports often and with pleasure, I like to exercise in the fresh air, I think swimming is great. Still a stomach. He's just there. Certainly, it's my own fault, I like to eat, very much even. I used to do that and I didn't have a stomach.
I still hold the towel in my hands. My hands are not the same as they used to be. Wrinkled with a few brown spots. My fingers are narrow and some joints are marked by osteoarthritis.
I look at myself carefully, I see my legs and my arms. The Lipedema somehow grew with it. When I was diagnosed fourteen years ago, they were slimmer and my knees were more visible. Well, boots never belonged in my shoe closet, and blouses weren't my favorite item of clothing either. I couldn't close boots and the blouses weren't made for my arms.
I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself closely. A lot has changed since I entered menopause.
Outwardly I've changed, I have to admit that, but is that bad? No, I think it's a process that also has a positive effect on me.
I have become more relaxed, I can enjoy more, I do things that I enjoy. I have a happy family and grandchildren who don't care if I have puff / model measurements or wrinkles. A man who has grown older with me and who accepts me for who I am. I have lipedema on my legs and arms, but I take good care of myself, so the disease has become a part of me too.
I still look in the mirror and see a satisfied woman. Yes, I also changed visually through the menopause, but I have matured, have already experienced a lot and think that I will still experience a lot. I enjoy every day and am satisfied with myself. Of course I could change some things, but do I want that? No.
I am myself and that's a good thing, even if I have days when I find it difficult to believe in it, but I'm working on it.