We usually spend a lot of time with people. Regardless of whether with family, friends or at work. I myself have been asking myself more and more recently which of these people are seriously interested in me. And the answer is very simple. Unfortunately there are very few!
So how can I break away from people who so rarely enrich my life? With this question I painfully realized that it is damn hard to say goodbye to your own illusions.
We don't know what others think or feel. We interpret their behavior and are then offended by our own thoughts.
Break away from people
This problem begins in the head. There are people in our lives that we hold on to. Most of them are of course potential partners. Because it's so incredibly nice to have someone. Someone you can rely on. This person who is constantly going through my head, who takes up the most space in my dreams and for whom you give yourself completely.
But then I often just felt abandoned myself. If this affection is not reciprocated, it can easily turn into disaster. When family and friends just shake their heads because I've relapsed again. Met with him. And then in the end had heartache again and had to painfully discover that it was a bottomless pit.
I always believe in the good and positive in people. Talking words to me nicely - I'm excellent at that. Turning a good face into a bad game - also a piece of cake. Often times I only saw what I wanted to see.
At some point he realizes what a great woman I am.
How often have I kept this sentence in mind. I was guided by this thought. And in principle, that's a great thing too.
Because every woman can be proud of herself, act self-confident and a healthy, positive attitude has not harmed anyone. But in contrast to nice talk, there is a very fine line to walk. People you can't have are fundamentally very interesting because our ego doesn't cope well with rejection.
Of course, I always shared these thoughts and feelings with people around me and asked them for advice. And one really knows better than the other. Often we are surrounded by so-called "Gscheidhaferl". These are people who have an answer or a solution to my problem at every opportunity. The result: from my current point of view, nothing is worse than doing what others advise me and in the end I act against my own gut feeling. It's like manipulation.
Once you have recognized this fact, it is not a crime to break away from people and also to distance yourself a little. It makes a difference whether it is well-intentioned advice or whether people just want to add their mustard.
You are in focus
Of course there was always a small part in my brain that told me that glossing over wasn't going to help and that I was actually just wasting my time. But as I said: it is incredibly difficult to say goodbye to illusions.
I've now learned to listen to my needs. And that has absolutely nothing to do with selfishness or self-love. However, if you put YOU in the center, take care of YOU and do YOU good, then it is not uncommon for people to lose interest in you because they are then no longer the focus of your attention.
Traveling alone - a treat for body and soul
When I started looking into myself seriously, I did Travel used for this. And do it alone! At the beginning I was a bit afraid of this unknown territory. However, that subsided very quickly when I followed for three months South Africa have gone. This was followed by Dubai, Tanzania, Brazil, Egypt, the USA and, most recently, Canada.
During these times my soul has freed itself from deep injuries, I really had time for ME around the clock, was able to become active again and my body thanks me today. In addition, when you travel you often notice what is really important and how small the problems at home actually are. To be honest, that calms me down, and it's so wonderful when you're not dependent on anyone.
Find your way
Each of them works differently, of course. You just have to find that out for yourself and there are really countless other ways to find the way to yourself in order to be able to break away from people. Just think about what you really enjoy. Something where you can just be YOU. Go walking in nature, the air will blow fresh wind through your head. Or knit a sweater - so you can concentrate on one thing. Switch your mobile phone to flight mode frequently - you don't always have to be available. Dance and sing - no matter where!
Of course these are just random examples of mine, but maybe they can be a little help.
You will see - your time will come. Do not hide!
I wish with all my heart that each of us will take time out to get away from difficult situations, to allow wounds to heal, to adjust our own perception. Be grateful for what you have. And change what is not good for you. Breaking away from people - everyone has the chance to realize themselves and that is much easier if you let go of people who were never really interested in you.
Celebrate the farewell and look ahead!